In My Mind I'm Having A Pretty Good Time With You

Ah, so as I said in my last post, this song was basically my theme song for Lifelight this year. I also found out about this song and this band at Lifelight! :D
Their new Cd was only 5 dolla and I loved it, so it was all real great. (:

anyways.



So everyone basically knows about Luke and all that stuff...

and gosh. haha. I dunno.

He was real nice and sweet and silly and I just wanted to kiss him. Y'know?
So I did. :P

And I know some people might make a big deal about the fact that he's 20, but I really don't give a fuck, because to me age is never even a factor in anything.

Also, I know a lot of my friends wanted to hear all about it and such and I don't really care if everybody knows every little detail and stuff, (because really there wasn't even that much,) but I found it hard to describe it all. Which probably sounds weird, but it's true. I just find it hard to describe everything.
I love talking about the entire weekend and especially that night with Candy and Kelsey, because they were right there with me the whole time. (: Right there on the other side of Luke! haha

oh but it was all really wonderful and beautiful and I still wish I was there, and I still get really sad and almost cry even because I miss Lifelight so much...
But that happens every year so whatevs. I'll get over it soon.


Ah wow I forgot how good warm milk is. (:




I really think there's something wrong with me.
Like, I've tried to explain it to some people but then I just sound dumb, and maybe I sound dumb right now, but really, I just.... I don't know.
I'm forgetting. Forgetting so much. Forgetting all the things I see, mostly.

I can still remember feelings, like Aj's hand in mine, or Luke's scruffy face, or hundreds of bodies pressed close to mine in the mosh pit. Or the smells I can remember so so well. But I can't remember very well what things look like. Or what happened.... Like I honestly can say I can't remember one specific detail from yesterday.

haha or maybe I'm just being silly.
I don't know and don't care much anymore.

But that's one of the reasons why I love taking pictures. I can never forget then.

And I didn't take a picture of Luke's face and I can't remember what he or Josh looked like..... ah.


School and just life in general I guess is desensitizing me. I'm becoming very jaded, and I don't really think that's bad. I'm detached from everyone and it's nice. I do worry about everyone's problems and my own problems still, but not really. I feel like that's someone else. They're doing all of that for me, but me, myself, really doesn't feel those things anymore. Or maybe I do. I can't tell.

I have no idea what I'm saying, but the feeling of the keyboard beneath my moving fingers is nice because I've forgotten how much I love writing and I really know that my writing skills have died a lot and I really need to do something to revive them.






I tied several balloons to the leaves of this tree and now we are gone and no one believes the colors I see in the sky
and this wall is too thick and filled with leaves of an endangered plant living in my bathroom closet
So now I'm looking in your eyes and the sounds I hear from them are anything but soothing yet you know it will not hold me.



ah I love just writing things like that.
None of it makes sense but it just seems beautiful.
Because words are so beautiful.