Rocketships and Radios

Good morning. I say this because, it is now 7:38 AM.

Don't believe me?







But it's 44° in San Francisco so all is good! :P

Ah... I haven't been very good about blogging as of late. >:(
lawls.
I've just been so busy... And my mom and dad don't ever let me get on the computer anymore anyways. And I'm just going to get upset if I talk about my parents anymore on hear because my mom has been really crazy lately and it angers me immensely. D:<>www.myspace.com/nickasaur

I love it. :)

Ah... I feel asleep last night... I'm such an idiot...

Becca and Morgan and Tim and Dyllan were all gonna come bust me out last night and we were gonna have lots of fun and it was going to be really great, but...

I FELL ASLEEP.

And I woke up this morning and I had two missed calls around midnight.
One from Becca.
One from Morgan.

I was very fucking upset. I actually said fuck. As I was laying in bed.

Yeah...

Whatevs, though.
We're all still gonna have lots of fun today...
:D

But I'm still really pissed at myself...

It's just something about this house... It makes me tired and by 11 I couldn't keep my eyes open..... D:

Oh well...
I'll just learn from this and stuff. There's nothing I can do now I suppose. :P

Hm... I think that's it. I don't know what else to really say. haha. :P

LOVE!

Sorry For The Hiatus, Kittens...

...But I'm back. ;D

I've just been real busy with... Everything. Ah...

And now I've found myself just sitting here on the end of my bed in my pajamas with some good music playing and a glass of chocolate milk, all ready to talk about my feelings.

I love.

Hehe. :)

Things have just been really happy lately... I dunno. haha.

I hung out with Bill the other day for like... An hour or so...? :P
Whatevs.
It was pretty cool, though. He seems like a pretty great guy. And I mean, he likes Pokemon, so obviously he has to be pretty cool. :P

I've felt real self-concious lately and stuff, though. It sucks. :(
And I don't really know. Haha. Like, I can never be fucking pretty enough for myself. I just feel so ugly and fat and stupid.

haha. I'm dumb.

I don't know what's wrong with me anymore.

But I'm still happy most of the time... What the f*** is up with that? haha. I'm just pretty screwed up in the head!
Weeeeeee!

But... I don't really feel like writing anything else now. So good night. :)

I love you! :D

In The Quiet Waiting.

Sometimes, you just want to sit.
And enjoy

Everything.

Because you come to the realization that you won't always be here.

What if this the last sunset I'll ever see? Or if that's the last time I'll hug a friend goodbye?

Speaking of which, there's exactly one hour until Rich turns 18.

Now 59 minutes.

As I said in my last post, I haven't updated in quite a while... :/
And I'm sorry for that.
And once again, as I said in my last post, I really did just forget about it. Haha.
:P

I dunno.

58 Minutes.

But I'm thinking that I'm gonna start blogging again, like, hardcore! >:D
Things shouldn't be quite as busy anymore anyways now that I'm not doing Romeo & Juliet...

53 Minutes.

Well, I guess I'm still doing it... Just makeup.

Fuck.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to.
I don't even know when I started swearing... It just happened one day...

56 Minutes.

55 Minutes.

54 Minutes.

I'm doing it again.
Nothing.

53 Minutes.

To answer the question you're probably thinking: yes. This is completely pointless. If you wanted to stop reading right now and go do something worthwhile then go ahead, I don't blame you.

52 Minutes.

I want to take pictures. I want to make something of my life. I want to be able to capture something ordinary and make it look new.

51 Minutes.

What is this?

50 Minutes.

I don't know what I'm doing. Everything is quite silly, including me. I can feel my skin growing older and looser and it's all too much. Really. It's going to float away.

48 Minutes.

Please, please, don't lie to me. I can handle anything but all of the fucking lying. Fuck.
I'm feeling odd. No, not really. Just kidding. I'm not really feeling much of anything.
At all. Hm.
What does it mean when your best friend ditches you to become friends with your brother? Or when your other best friend just decides she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore so she stops answering all of your fucking calls and won't give you a straight reason for why she never wants to even talk to you anymore or look you in the eyes?
I wouldn't know.

45 Minutes.

Why is music so great? I love. I can just get lost listening to anything lately. Actually, here, I'll make a little "mixed tape" for you. Except it's not a real mixed tape because then I don't know how I'd give it to you over the internet. :P
So here:

The Becoming -- Your Love
Muse -- Bliss
Disciple -- Rise Up
Anberlin -- The Feel Good Drag (Basically One of my most favorite bands and one of my most favorite songs by them. :D Plus, they're all extremely nice looking.)
The Classic Crime -- The Fight
Willet -- Taste
The Smiths -- Asleep (Beautiful song)
Tokyo Police Club -- Cheer It On
Pinback -- Boo

And that's pretty much it for now.
Aren't they nice? Boo is one of my favorite songs ever. :)

29 Minutes.

28 Minutes.

Aaaaaghgheal;sjskhfeshkjnsiojansdskjla;askljdfasjkvdn.
I'm staying awake until midnight so I can be the first to wish Rich a happy birthday, but I'm growing bored... :/

Hm...

24 Minutes.

Haha. I'm playing me some neopets. >:)

19 Minutes.

18 Minutes.

Owning n00bs on Neo...

7 Minutes.

Well. That was cute. They have some special thing going on where you can send your score on all of the games 5 times instead of 3 during the month of february, so I just earned 10000 NP in a few minutes. ;D

6 Minutes.

It was cute.

Ah... I do believe it's time for me to go now.

5 Minutes.

Love.

Everything In Moderation

Hullooooo Thur!

I know, I know, it's been FOREVS since I last posted, but I really just kinda forgot about it. Haha. :P

Annnddd... This isn't going to be anything special because I'm at Rich's and I really wanna go watch The Nightmare Before Christmas because I've never seen it before. :D

So yah.

I GOT A FREAKING SHAYMIN!!!!!!!!!!

The End.

Love.

Addictions Fill The Table Where The Family Used To Sit

Look, I colored that picture I had drawn the other day. :)

I actually typed this up a few days ago, but am just now uploading it.

Sept. 12 11:59 PM

Lately I’ve found myself on the verge of tears a lot of times. And, although I usually am a pretty emotional person, I’ve haven’t ever quite gotten to that breaking point where I come down and cry. I can feel the tears fill my eyes, brimming nearly to the point of over flowing, but then it all calms and I return to my solid mask of placidity.

Most of it has to do with Chris.

The rest has to do with me and my female hormones.

But... It just hurts. And, I don’t even like to talk about him anymore...
Thinking about what he’s done, what he’s doing right now...

It really, literally, physically hurts.

And then he was trying to protect me.
To know that he feels bad for subjecting me to this...

Yet, even though I don’t know, obviously other people do.
I mean, it was bad enough having to deal with all the crap about him being a huge pot head and stuff, but...
My partner in AP Environmental Science (APES) actually said to me the other day:
“So what happened to Chris? I heard he got arrested.” Chris and the rest of my family wouldn’t want me spreading anything, so anymore I reply with an automatic response:
“I don’t know. Sorry.”

It hurts, now, just thinking about everything...
I haven’t seen him in over a week, and I don’t even know now if he’s still in JDC or just at his mom’s house...



Where’d my big brother go?

We Sure Are Cute For Two Ugly People

Aw... Look. I drew this the other night.
It got kinda cut off when I took a picture of it (I didn't feel like breaking out my huge, chunky scanner. :P) but it said, "We Sure Are Cute For Two Ugly People" which is from the song, Anyone Else But You by The Moldy Peaches.

<3

Love.

We Can Just Pretend

Lifelight = Love, love, love, love, love.

I could write, like, 500 posts all just about lifelight, but I probably won't.

Also, I'm supposed to be writing a descriptive essay right now, (It's about Lifelight. Ha. Ha.) and my mom just called and said that I can't go and do anything until I'm done... And she called right after Rich did, wanting me to come over. Oh geez. I should probably get on that...

Well, here's what I have so far:


Merecedes
Period 6
Descriptive Essay

All around bodies are pressed close; heat rising and sweat dripping. We move as one; a single, massive body swaying and writhing to the beat of the music. Frenetic screams and shouts intermingle with the shrill chords of guitars and throbbing pulsations of the drums. Out of the dark speakers towering high above the stage, pours the voice of an eccentric musician that has become the only voice that can be heard. Soon the frenzied rhythm of the song demands for all to jump and we obey, our dust coated and worn legs thrust the rest of our bodies into the night air again and again. If only this chilly, exciting night could go on forever.
For a moment we’ll turn back the pendulum to before the Family Force Five concert began. A sizable crowd had already formed around the flashy stage. Each person gathered there was eagerly awaiting the first significant sounds of the music to begin, although the sound check would probably take another half hour or so. The sounds of hundreds of different feet shuffling amidst the dirt and dust was hardly audible above the roar coming from the multitude, each speaking louder than the next in order to be heard. Considering that trying to talk over the raucous clamor would be nearly impossible, I turned to look at the fading sky behind me.
By now the sun was no longer even visible, but milky pinks and oranges spilled across the darkened sky in the West; darkness slowly took over from the East, only to be punctured by tiny, pinpoint stars. A prodding in my arm brought me back to the now, and I turned my head to see Kirstin reaching out for me with one hand while jabbing her other between people to forge a path closer to the stage. My searching fingers clasped her arm tightly as the mass threatened to split us apart, and soon we found our own niche in the crowd.




Eugepae!
Eheu!
Mehercule!

=P

Anyways... Yah. It only has to be five paragraphs, so I'm basically half way done.

Blah. I'll go do it.

I just realized that I hadn't updated this for a very long time... So yah.

Hur you go.



Love.