The Rhythm of a Stranger's Skin

Ahahahahahaha! This is the best fucking song everrrrr. (:


It just makes me giggle.


Baby, you're just too legit. :P




Ah... So it's been quite a while since I've written on here, huh?

Ah... I just forget about everything so easily anymore.






Oh, so I went to Italy.

Please go to my flickr and look at all my photos. (:

Italy was so beautiful. all the people there were gorgeous and the sound of their voices was just nice and good. ah....

I know it's really terrible, but I didn't really miss anyone at all. Especially my family.

Speaking of family, I'm fucking done with chris.



He hates me and anymore I don't even like him. he's a dick and he's fucked up his life so much and now he wants to drag me down with him and he's so so good at manipulating everyone around him to get exactly what he wants.
I"m fucking done.


Just so long as he doesn't die, I don't care what he does anymore.



I want a fucking cigarette.

No I don't.

I just want to be with people and smoke some cigarettes and talk about life..... ah.........


Since I've gotten back from Italy everything has just blurred together and I can never become fully awake and I can never feel things like I used to....


















I've come to the realization that nothing really matters.

You Can Show Off Your Light

Ah... So it's 12:02 AM and I'm not even tired. :D

No, no, I'm not on anything, although I wouldn't blame you for assuming after my last post. I was coming down when I posted that...

Fuuuccckkkk.

I hated coming down. It was the worst.


But Kaycie had a really pretty bong... :D
It makes the silliest noise, too... haha.
And I really wanted the pipe. Just to hold in my mouth and walk around with. Y'know?

Oh gosh. I called Travis when it was finally starting to hit me. I probably took the most hits, besides Dyllan. It just wasn't working at first... And Kaycie said that a lot of people don't get high their first time, which kind of dissapointed me. So they just kept giving me more turns to take a hit... Haha.

And then it hit me like a fucking brick wall.

It was great at the time.


Nothing mattered. Everything was distant and good. I didn't care about anything. My legs and arms and my whole body was just heavy and then light and then heavy again. My mom texted me something at one point and I just started cheesin' out.

It was great.


Until I had to go home.

I had already started coming down after Little Ceasar's...

Oh gosh. That was one of the worst parts.
We went to go get pizza at Little ceasars and everything was so fast. Everything was really defined, too. I could see everything but I couldn't focus on any of it, and I'd blink and I'd be somewhere else. Fuck, I hated it. I think the guy working could tell, too. I know I kept looking everywhere and at everything, so I bet I looked rather odd, if anything.

And then I didn't feel normal again until later that night.


Fuck.

I like cigarettes better, although I wouldn't want to smoke anything without sharing it with another person. I dunno, I just don't see the point in smoking alone. It seems like more of a social thing to me, and it's not like the buzz from cigarettes is that great anyways. :/

And weed is only good when you're with other people because otherwise you're just sitting alone cheesin' out at whatever and just... Shit. shitty shitty shit.
Fuck.


Me and Travis shared a cigarette at work the other day. They tasted kinda like caramel. haha. :P



Ah... I would make a post like Libby and Steph's, but I've only ever had one boyfriend, and he was pretty cool. We're still friends and all.
I broke it off because I could never see myself spending the rest of my life with him, and because I didn't like kissing him. :/

But we're still good friends and we play Pokemon together! :D



Ah, but I digress.

I rented Requiem for a Dream today, so I'm going to watch that right now.
:)

Nighty night, kittens!


I love!

And Come Out At Night

The following is a nice poem by Billy Collins that I found in this amazing book in my school's library, called, Sailing Alone Around The Room.


Not Touching


The Valentine of Desire is pasted over my heart
and still we are not touching, like things

In a poorly done still life
where the knife appears to be floating over the plate
which is itself hovering above the table somehow,

the entire arrangement of apple, pear, and wineglass
having forgotten the law of gravity,
refusing to be still,

as if the painter had caught them all
in a rare moment of slow flight
just before they drifted out of the room
through a window of perfectly realistic sunlight.




I Love. :)